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  “So, Adam,” he whispered, “tell me, what exactly did you learn that is so valuable that I should reconsider putting you out of your misery?”

  The way he spoke, cold, fearless, merciless, it was pretty obvious he would stop at nothing to make sure the girl would die.

  With a strong sense of reluctance, I convinced myself that it was okay to sell out the angels. They had taken me captive, they had forced me into a sleep-like state, they had interrogated me. Wasn’t that enough justification to do even worse to them? As I was still struggling to overcome my newly found morals, Volpert stepped closer and put his hand on my shoulder.

  “After I failed to kill the girl in the graveyard, Maureen helped me track her down again and lure her into a trap,” I freely retold the events of the past few days, giving Maureen all the credit I could. She had stayed with me, making sure I was okay, supporting me, putting in a good word with the demon leader so I would still have a place to come back to. Making her look like a hero was the least I could do. “Everything went according to her plan until the others showed up. The four angels came to the girl’s rescue, and I was incapacitated—they have ways of doing that, too—and held captive.” I left out the part where I had failed to kill her a second time and chased her to the library.

  “And you got away…lucky one, aren’t you?” Volpert seemed to still be debating whether or not he could trust me.

  “Lucky, yes,” I nodded and rolled my eyes at myself. “I got away from three strong angels and one guardian angel. They tried to get information out of me, that’s the only reason I am still alive.”

  “Is that so?” Volpert mused. He didn’t look at Maureen even once. Instead, he focused on me with all his demonic attention.

  “I don’t know what they expected I knew, but what I can tell you is that the six of us won’t be enough to defeat those angels. They are dangerous, strong, wicked.”

  He eyed me, weighing whether or not he was satisfied with what I was telling him.

  “The main finding is how strong they all are?” he growled and let go of my shoulder.

  “The main finding is how strong he himself is,” Maureen interjected and grabbed my shirt in one quick motion, tearing it open on my chest. “See,” she pointed at the smooth skin, “no scar, no stored energy. The strength to free himself from those angels is innate.”

  I looked down, realizing she was right. After I had released the energy, I hadn’t even bothered to check my scar. I had simply forgotten about it. And now there was no sign of it left.

  Volpert’s eyes popped.

  “All of them weren't there when I escaped,” I reined in his expectations. “Just the guardian angel.”

  His eyes grew even wider. “You struck down the guardian angel single-handedly, without additional energy?” he asked incredulously.

  What was so special about that? He himself had restrained the angel in the graveyard.

  “I knocked him out,” I shrugged, glad that I didn’t have to lie about this part of the story.

  “It’s one thing if I can defeat an angel that strong, I am an ancient demon,” he mused, “but you…you are…” He was searching for words. “You are not even a complete creature, just half of something…” He walked around me in slow steps, measuring. “You are one half of a half-breed, nothing more.”

  He must be referring to my angelic heritage that had died when his torturer had killed me. He didn’t know I knew, so I kept my mouth shut, playing the naive and uninformed demon I had been before.

  “He escaped and now we know that he is the key to destroying all of them. With a demon that strong, chances are high we’ll be able to get rid of them for good. All of them,” Maureen put into consideration, giving the demon leader another reason to not destroy me just yet.

  I glanced sideways at her, thanking her in my mind.

  Her eyes lit up at the thought of ridding the Earth of the girl and her angels. And there it was again, my inner conflict. I wasn’t certain if that was still what I wanted. The same way I didn’t just turn on my demon clan, I couldn’t destroy my angel family. It was tearing me apart.

  “If we want to defeat them, we need to separate them, take them apart, piece by piece…”

  “And harness their angelic energy for our own cause,” Blackbird finished Volpert’s sentence, joining us in the interrogation room.

  I froze at the sight of him. My killer was standing there, smiling at me as if welcoming me back. It took me a couple of seconds to realize he wasn’t actually there to confront me, but to talk tactics.

  Had I underestimated my demon family? Were they actually capable of forgiveness? After having been on the side of their enemies before my death, they had taken me in. Or had that been part of a cruel plan, too? I was at a point where I couldn’t trust anyone—myself least of all. My moods and urges were driving me and I had to be careful not to let anyone see just how insecure I had gotten.

  “We need to make a plan,” Volpert said to Blackbird, and Maureen glanced at me, a half-smile curving her red lips.

  For her, it seemed to be a victory. For me, I couldn’t tell.

  When I slid into the heat of the pool a couple of hours later, I was almost a hundred percent certain the demons didn’t suspect anything. My self-control had been sufficient to face them without giving away how much I knew. All the doubts about their intentions safely stored away, I had discussed possible angles to get them separately and end them, one after the other, and ignored the voice in my head, warning me there would come a day when I’d regret it.

  The water was warm and comfortable, letting me easily drown out the thoughts, contouring another image instead. The girl’s face, clear and fair as if standing right in front of me. I dipped my head under water and watched my curls float in front of my face, instead of the fiery symbols as I normally would. My soulmate. I was still trying to figure out what that was. Had I had a soul, I might have understood, but dark void that I was, I could only imagine that it had something to do with the connection we shared. I had loved her once, enough to die for her. Now I was selling her and the angels out to Volpert. Was that right?

  I was a demon for crying out loud, why did right and wrong matter so much to me all of a sudden?

  “You know, you’re endearing when you’re all conflicted like that,” Maureen smiled down at me from the side of the pool as I dove out of the water, upset with myself. Her black hair almost touched the water as she bent forward.

  It didn’t bother me as much that I was naked, as it bothered me that she had managed to surprise me. Had my senses gotten dull? I hadn’t heard her sneak in or noticed her silhouette above the water. What if it had been an angel attempting to kill me? I would be lost.

  “Anything wrong?” I asked, hiding behind a fake smile.

  “Everything perfect,” she glanced down and grinned.

  I got to my feet, ignoring her stare, and grabbed a towel.

  “They went out hunting,” she informed me while I was getting dressed.

  “All of them?”

  “Yes.”

  I dried my curls just enough so my clothes wouldn’t get wet before I sat down on the stone bench. Maureen settled down next to me.

  “Why are we here?” I asked, once more trying to understand. “I could have killed the girl in the graveyard the second time.”

  She eyed me from the side and nodded.

  “Why did you tell me to let her go?”

  She stared into the candlelight, all grinning gone.

  “Why, Maureen?” I laid my hand on her arm, trying to get her attention. “I need to know.”

  Instead of answering right away, she shook her head and looked up at me, big brown eyes like an open book for once. There was a sadness in her face, I hadn’t noticed before. Beneath all the anger and the wicked seductress, there seemed to be a vulnerable girl. Just as the girl with the grayish-blue eyes. The flicker of affection I had felt from her before came through and I was about to tell her it was okay, I wouldn�
�t tell anyone that she wasn’t the tough demon she was pretending to be, when she leaned in and kissed me. It was a slow, tender kiss, nothing like the exciting attempts she’d made.

  Surprised, I froze. This wasn’t right. She was my demon-friend, if anything. The only one I could trust in this web of tunnels, but nothing more. Or was she?

  “I’m sorry,” she pulled back, realizing I wasn’t moving, and her eyes turned hard again, building the wall she always had in place to keep the others out.

  “There is no need to be sorry.” My hand took hers, squeezing it in a gesture that made clear how I felt—like her overwhelmed demon-friend, ready to listen if she needed to talk, but not interested in her as a demon-girlfriend, no matter how hot she was. “Someone told me once, demons never apologize,” I tried to make her smile, repeating her own words to her.

  It worked. She wasn’t upset that I had rejected her. It was more as if she had expected it.

  “You are so lucky, Adam,” she sighed and folded her hands in her lap. “You don’t remember anything about your past.”

  I sat still, waiting for her to explain.

  “This—Volpert, Blackbird, Jin, and Nora, the caves—is all you know.”

  “I wish I could remember more,” I commented. There seemed to be so much more to this world than just our dark network of tunnels and caves and the occasional trip to the surface to feed on humans, or the hunt for angels to get their energy for a reason nobody had explained to me yet.

  “See, that’s exactly my point,” she looked up, some kind of emotion in her eyes. “I wish I didn’t.”

  There was a moment during which the trickling stream of water along the wall was the only sound in the room, then she shifted and turned to me, all walls dropping again.

  “I had a life—a human life—before I met Volpert. I am a half-demon and when we met—before you died—we were both just humans. No knowledge of angels and demons.”

  I had no memory of what she was telling me.

  “I am tired of pretending, Adam,” she sounded exasperated, “I want my old life back. I want out.”

  “What do you mean, out?”

  “They came to me. They had been watching you for a while, waiting for you to transform into a demon, and I was the perfect hook to speed it up.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You are Abigail’s son, remember?”

  “Abigail…” I mused. This was the first time I heard that name.

  Maureen interrupted me.before I could phrase even one coherent question about my mother.

  “Your mother was a strong demon. And she was like a mother to Volpert. He wanted you around as part of his clan.”

  I listened, absorbing every word, even if they didn’t make sense yet, scared they might cease if I asked any further questions.

  “That was before you met her…the girl. That’s when everything went south.”

  She laughed at herself.

  “Volpert came to me, offered me a life of power and freedom. He told me about my demonic heritage. It wasn’t strong, but strong enough that I would survive if they triggered it. He promised me that I would be able to be with you forever if I managed to trigger you.”

  Her eyes were apologetic.

  “In the beginning, it went great, you were falling in love with me—at least it seemed as if you were—and Volpert granted me immortality as a reward, and then…” She fell silent.

  “What, then?” I whispered, hoping to hear more, to understand, maybe even remember.

  “Then you started acting weird. Every day you became more distant, more confusing. You didn’t respond to me the way you had before…almost as if you were immune…”

  She chuckled darkly.

  “We had no idea about your angelic heritage. And that must have been the time when it started to break through, and then you met the girl. I was too late…”

  I wasn’t sure if I should feel sorry for her or be upset she hadn’t told me earlier what she knew.

  “Ever since we lost you to the other side, Volpert has given me a hard time. And now that you returned as a demon, it’s my responsibility to make you feel as comfortable with us as possible. I don’t think Volpert wants you to remember who you used to be.”

  “Why are you telling me all this?” I wondered. It wasn’t in her best interest if she wanted to fulfill her task.

  “I am tired, Adam,” she admitted and rested her head in her hands. “Tired of pretending, tired of fighting, tired of lying. I know I had feelings for you when I was still human, and those feelings haven’t disappeared.”

  So I hadn’t imagined it. It was true. She did feel something for me. Something a normal demon wouldn’t feel.

  “I wish I could make you feel the same way, but it’s pointless. You were immune when you were human, and you’re immune now.”

  “Maureen…” I searched for the right words. “I am sorry.” It wasn’t exactly what I’d hoped would come out, but those were the words which seemed most appropriate, even if I couldn’t remember any of what she’d told me.

  She laughed. “Didn’t you just say, demons never apologize?”

  “Right.”

  She nudged my shoulder, but her face was serious. “Volpert isn’t stupid, you know. He knows that Claire might bring back your memories one day—he didn’t need me to inspire the idea. Why else do you think he doesn’t share his plans with you?”

  So she actually had done everything behind my back to make sure it would be as unattractive for me to go after Claire as possible. It surely wasn’t to protect the girl. It had to be just another game of hers, pushing me toward a life she wanted me to lead—with her demon clan.

  I was grateful she couldn’t read minds and folded my arms across my chest as if that could shield me from her intrigues. Hadn’t I thought a moment ago I had a demon-friend? Wrong again.

  She gave me a warning look. “Stop trying to remember, and I’ll watch out for you as best I can,” she promised and smiled, relieved she had gotten all of it off her chest, but somehow her last sentence had sounded more like a threat.

  She had given me a lot to think about. If I had been human before I’d supposedly turned into an angel, before they’d managed to turn me into a demon, that meant I had truly been Volpert’s enemy once…not too far back. And the angels hadn’t been my enemies, but my own kind. I tried hard to remember…something…anything would be better than this void in my head.

  “Thank you for sharing.” I got to my feet and gave her a half-smile, acting as if her warning didn’t bother me.

  17

  Visitor

  Volpert didn’t include me in his tactics meetings. Whether it was because he didn’t trust me or because he didn’t want to bother me with it, I couldn’t tell. Anyway, I didn’t see much of him during the next couple of days. Blackbird, on the other hand, was sneaking around all the time.

  “You need to work on your skills,” he repeated for the hundredth time as we interrogated a human.

  “My skills are fine,” I hissed and let the human drop to the ground.

  She groaned as her consciousness returned.

  “So,” I addressed her without even properly looking at her, “where is your angel?”

  She shook her head and I pulled the strings a bit tighter. Her back bent under the pain.

  “Where?” I repeated.

  When she still didn’t answer, I turned to Blackbird. “Is it even worth trying, or should we just kill her?” I asked, seeing my killer when I looked at him, rather than a demon-brother. “I haven’t fed the past few days.”

  “Oh, no, she’ll talk,” he sneered and ripped the strings out of my hands. “You just need to be more precise and you’ll get anything you want.”

  Spoken like a real torturer. He was the master of walking the borderline between life and death when interrogating either human or angel.

  “See?” He lifted his hand an inch and the woman got to her feet as he released her just long enough
to take a deep breath, then crushed her with a strong rip on the strings and she was on her knees again. Every step was planned, like a theater piece.

  I could feel the woman’s pain, her fear, her hope that she would be strong enough. I had felt all of our interrogation subjects before and it had given me pleasure to know the impact we were making. This time it was different. For the first time, it made me uncomfortable to see her suffer. The pain Blackbird was inflicting echoed from the woman and I remembered the searing pain in my chest when he had killed me. The only memory I had from my pre-demon existence. I hid a shudder and focused on the fading light of the woman.

  “I don’t think she’s going to talk,” I realized. “Why don’t we just feed on her?” The hunger in my chest had become so strong, I could make myself believe it would be mercy if we killed her quickly.

  “I am not done with her,” Blackbird informed me with a cruel smile.

  “I am.” I turned to walk away.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” he yelled.

  “Hunting.”

  His tone didn’t intimidate me. It was exactly what I was intending to do. Hunt. And knowing that Blackbird was busy torturing someone, gave me a bit of space. I hardly ever had space to think anymore since my return, and the dreams of the girl had continued to come back. Every time she appeared, she was reaching out her hand for me, and I couldn’t bring myself to face her. It was as if we were stuck in a loop.

  On my way out, I checked to see if anyone was following me. When the coast was clear, I teleported from the little platform at the river into the city.

  It took me a while to realize where my feet were carrying me, as I skipped through the shadows, hidden under my hood. When I laid eyes on the golden-eyed guardian angel, my body tensed. He was heading out of the library, looking older than I had ever seen him. If it hadn’t been for the eerie eyes, I would have mistaken him for someone else.

  He jumped into a gray car and the engine came to life. If he was there, the girl couldn’t be far. So, I followed him, teleporting from corner to corner, careful not to lose sight of the vehicle, while staying at a safe distance and keeping invisible to human eyes. It was only when he pulled into a driveway in the cheaper area of Aurora that it struck me that the small, white house must be where she was living.